Help! I’m Failing My Child!

Do you ever feel like you’re failing your child? No matter how hard you’ve worked over the years to give them everything that they want or need, there always seems to be something that’s missing. It could be that you feel like you can’t give them enough of your time, that you want to be in better communication with them or maybe it’s that you struggle with supporting them in their academics, so they’re not getting the best results in school.

Although I’ve experienced all of these myself, the latter is one issue that many parents feel overwhelmed by on a regular basis. No matter where your child is in their academic career, I think it’s safe to say that every one of us has been in a place, at some point, where it’s seemed nearly impossible to help them get through their academic challenges.

I can remember a time back in my oldest daughter’s 12th-grade year. We were homeschooling through a virtual charter school and she was studying Trigonometry. Well, math was never her strong suit. So needless to say, she was never in a good mood when working on her Trig assignments. Though she had a math teacher to reach out to when she needed help, there were times when she missed the teacher’s office hours and would, therefore ask me for help with her Trig homework. Now, I hadn’t studied Trig in over a decade, so I had no idea how to help her. You can probably imagine what those evenings were like. I can remember feeling really down and being extremely hard on myself. I’d think things to myself like, how could I allow myself to forget Trigonometry? Why hadn’t I reviewed it even once over the years? If I had only stayed on top of it, we would not be in this situation right now!

I know this sounds ridiculous. I had no reason to review Trigonometry because in my first career out of college, as an accountant, I had no use for it. Nor did I need it as an ESL (English as a Second Language) Teacher or as a tutor for mostly K-8 students. So, why was I being so hard on myself?

The answer is simple, as parents, especially mothers, we want to be perfect at all times. We never want to let our kids down because it doesn’t make us feel good when we do. So when our kids are struggling and we can’t help them, we blame ourselves.

But, we have to be more compassionate to ourselves and flex our resourcefulness muscles when we get into those situations where we feel stuck and can’t solve the problem on our own. Whether that means asking for help from a spouse, relative, friend, or hiring someone to do the stuff that we just can’t do well or maybe can’t do at all.

If you are finding yourself in a similar situation far too often, contact us to learn how we help parents eliminate stress. Click here to schedule a free assessment. We’ll give you free advice to help you better support your child today.

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