“We need to be consciously aware of our tribe to generate those values we value within ourselves…” 

That’s such a cool tune huh? With A Little Help From Our Friends – The Beatles sure were on to it. It’s not just about beats; as the lyric denotes, it’s all about actions. 

Indeed, actions do speak far louder than words. “Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends.”

Amen to that.

As we addressed in our previous article “Knowing Yourself”, it matters what we tell ourselves, and each other.

Of course, words matter, or we wouldn’t have the pleasure of lyrics, poetry, storytelling, blog posts, articles, comics – the list is endless.

Just like all these elements, friends and thriving go hand in hand, the people we value are like peaches and cream, peanut butter and jelly: the addition of one ensures the other is amazingly better. 

Yet, friends and thriving, unlike delicious things in life, there’s not one without the other.

Confucius says, “Have no friends not equal to yourself.” 

In other words, you could say, our true friends help us build our character because they genuinely support who we are. Essentially, they are one of the greatest external good generators in our world outside of us, ourselves.

All friendships are not created equal though. For children their peer groups can be so confusing, one minute friends are best buddies, then next, they are suddenly being excluded from the group for whatever reason, without explanation. 

Be it the peer pressure of fitting in, or appearing awesome to the “cool crowd” or anything and what feels like everything. 

It hurts. We know. Unfortunately, these experiences in life are unavoidable. 

At Tutor Partners, we aim to teach our students the skills necessary to socially, emotionally realize their impact and the potential they have to achieve success and happiness in this life. Alongside, supporting you as parents, to encourage your child to identify the qualities of a true friend, and also being a true friend in return.

Honestly, we’re all lucky if we end up with 5 true friends in our lifetime. The central idea here is: “being true.” It’s those true friends we have to recognize and hold on tight to. Value them. 

And if they’re genuine, they’ll value you equally. It’s always a two-way street. That’s part of what we learn throughout life.

The Reflection Effect

Until we reflect, it’s difficult to consider the importance of things in our lives such as finding the sense of direction we hold. Like Confucius, Aristotle also assessed the nature of friendships generally, and how they affect the pathways we often land upon. 

True and complete friendship with Aristotle’s view is marked by integrity. It’s not a one-way relationship as the true comrade cherishes their friend for who they are, not what they provide for them. 

These friendships sustain themselves indefinitely, which for children and adults alike, flows into other elements of life. We perform better at work or school if we feel valued. Ultimately, our execution improves across the board.

A positive presence leads by example. Genuine, inside-out thriving is infectious. These are the people who are not trying to please others, they purely add value to those around them with their ability, because it is just naturally who they are. It’s real. Obviously, children feel safe and secure when they explicitly know that they can trust the friends around them. Genuineness means they can be who they are and as they want to be, not as other people want or expect them to be, in good times and bad, these people stick around no matter what. 

Personal distinction with a culture united as a collective is particularly more powerful than the sum of its parts, as a soloist.

Being wise means knowing how to cultivate these things in life that add value and also how to let go of those things or people that don’t. A friendship based upon full, mutual understanding enables one to completely invest the time, energy, and spirit into making that impact on the world one wishes to make.

At Tutor Partners, we believe in the need to feel connected, having all the dots align socially, emotionally, and academically, in the long run, not only helps us as individuals but also assists others who may be struggling.

We must instill in our children the value of themselves as beings, now. Do the friends they have bring out the best in them, and more importantly are they able to bring forth their very best self?

“Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”

~ Unknown

We all learn and need a little help from our friends.

Just be, live freely.